Night Thoughts

I'm determined more than ever

To overcome and not surrender

I've stumbled and tripped

And gotten sidetracked

But I'm not stopping and I'll never quit

Watch out step back

I'm soaring through 

Grace,dignity, and mighty too

I'm a woman with class

This staying down has come to pass

A strength from within

Is truly heaven sent

Get onboard or get lost

High heels and Pinky up 

Couldn't see the pain behind my eyes

couldn't see the fear felt inside

No one knew just how bad

And no one knew how it hurt

I tried and I tried

But you sat back and watched 

As I laid in bed covered in blood

I cried

You laughed

I loved you

I trusted you

And it all turned to ash

And now I struggle with all the feelings

Lingering from your mistakes

There isn't anything id do for you

But my God Ill never understand

How you said love but you treated me with hate

 Sweet man come find me

And pick up my head

Cuz it's hung low for so long

For reasons you'd not understand

I'm trying every moment

Every day I try again

And some days I trick myself

Until it all comes crashing in

whyd I have to crumble

Why didn't someone find me

When the playbook failed: fumble

The blood spilled out

And the tears ran wild

my heart was broken

I'm some mother's child

I'm a woman I'm a fighter

And I'm knocked out once more

Sweet man tag me out

And carry me through the door

This lifes promised to suffer

And I know that its true

One after one after one and another

In pain I kneeled down to you

You said look for glory

After all the rain

And I sat on the porch

And I screamed out your name

My heart has felt aching

And my soul has felt dread

Searching for arms to hold me

But there's none that I'd let 

It's by grace that you saved me

When you hung on that cross

It was my sin that killed you

So that I will no longer be lost

But I've clung to the chaining

And you've held out your hand

Will I ever stop blaming

And live life uncondemmend